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PCOS Warrior

Guest Author - Alexys Leek

Dear you,

You, who at 24 started to see your body change in ways you couldn’t understand. You who couldn’t figure out if the physical changes were worse than the mental turmoil of trying to figure out what was happening to you. The 50 pounds you gained out of no where, the cramps and heavy periods. The hair you were losing and gaining all at the same time in places you didn’t want. Going to numerous doctors for different test and no one having a clear answer for you but you never gave up on looking for answers.

Then the day came- you finally found a doctor who gave you answers. PCOS. In one blow you got the answer but you also get the news that the chances of you having children were not the greatest and that if you did attempt it would be a struggle.

Feeling so hopeless as they tell you there is no treatment, so many unknowns about this diagnosis, with no help but birth control. You walked out slightly broken by the news but determined to be the exception.

Your quest to find the right doctor happened quickly and before you know it you’re journey had started. Clomid, metformin, obsessively tracking your period and ovulation, monthly ultrasounds, the physical pain that had brought you literally to your knees. The tears you cried and mental battle you felt that you thought would never end. You questioning how your body just turned on you. After a year, you decided you needed a break from it all. You were mentally drowning because no one really knew what you were going through, not even your family. Physically, the pain tolerance you thought you had had completely been diminished. You just couldn’t take it anymore. You finished that last month feeling defeated but trying to see the positive.

One morning, you woke up feeling like something was different. You brushed it off and got into the shower but couldn’t shake that feeling. You weren’t late yet but something felt different. In the house alone, you decided to be brave and take yet again another pregnancy test. As you sat their patiently waiting you were hopeful. It was time you look at the test and it was the moment you had waited so long for. PREGNANT ! You couldn’t believe it. You ran to the store and bought 3 more tests which all showed pregnant. The excitement and fear was overwhelming.

Your pregnancy was rough. 80 pounds gained, exhaustion, swelling and the preeclampsia. Getting admitted at 37 weeks to be induced, it taking 4 days with 4 hours of pushing. The greatest love you’ve ever known coming into this world sunny side up, the cord around his neck, not breathing and grey. That short time, was the longest of your life but when his first cry happened it was the most beautiful noise you’d ever heard. At that moment all of the pain, ultrasounds, medicine and everything you endured to get to that moment was all worth it. Your heart was now beating outside of your body at that moment.

Fast forward 8 years. You got to successfully bring another child into this world. You’ve done the most research on PCOS, to not only benefit yourself but to help others along their journey of conceiving and being the best them. To live a full life with PCOS. To know that it can be done and that it will not dictate my life or my body. You continued to push forward. You never gave up but gave yourself what you needed mentally and physically and in return you gained the two most amazing gifts.


You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a PCOS warrior.




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