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Jessica’s Journey: Part 9- One Step Back Then Ten More

Updated: Apr 3, 2022

April 19th, 2017

I have been waiting to post updates until I had my follow up appointment after we lost our 2nd little one. Little did I know all of the utter crap that would ensue and delay such an update. It was supposed to be simple. I would see my fertility specialist to get an ultrasound and make sure all was well in my lady business, then follow-up with the next action plan. When am I going to realize I can't assume it will all go according to plan? If you are wondering what in the world I am talking about, see my timeline of events below:

Post Miscarriage Follow-Up:

I met with Dr. Shavell March 27th. She did an ultrasound and verified everything looked good. This part made me bitter. To me, everything looking good would mean by baby was still there, but that wasn't her fault. The next step was to get blood drawn. After two miscarriages, she does a panel of tests to see what could be causing it. The first round of tests was to see if I had a blood clot disorder. This can cause frequent miscarriages and has a simple fix of taking baby aspirin or a blood thinner when you get pregnant. I was to schedule a follow-up to discuss the results.

Follow-Up to the Follow-Up:

April 3rd was interesting. I went into this appointment feeling confident and pretty damn happy. I got my results ahead of time and Googled what they meant. According to my research, I had a blood clot disorder and was pumped because to me, that was something we could fix quickly. Haha- another time my "googling" proved to be inaccurate. I then meet with my doctor and find out the lab tech ordered the wrong blood test so we would have to order them again. The nurses changed the name of the inaccurate blood test because they thought it was just labeled incorrectly- which is why I was mislead. So I had to draw blood again. The icing on the cake was when my doctor then proceeded to tell me that the test they ordered, the wrong tests, showed my Comprehensive 3 and 4 were low which could indicated an autoimmune disorder. Seriously? So all of this is in my head as I go to get my blood drawn and soon discover the lab tech that is about to polk my arm is the same idiot who ordered the wrong tests. I wanted to punch her. I didn't say a word and just held out my arm for sacrifice. She could tell I was upset and was also made aware of the situation before I entered her room. I planned on not saying anything at all, but when she had the audacity to explain how I wouldn't be charged in an effort to ease my angst, I lost it. I gave her one of those smiles that has pure loathing behind it and said, " My concern has nothing to do with money. I am upset because I was supposed to find out why I seem to keep miscarrying my babies, but instead find out I could have an autoimmune disorder." The poor girl didn’t see it coming and let's just say there were no more words exchanged that day. I kind of feel bad for ruining her Monday, no I really don't.

Google is Evil:

If anyone who works for Google is reading this, I am really sorry but you guys suck. I searched high and low for what could possibly cause my Comp 3 and 4 levels to go down and all I found was Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis which both can cause extreme complications and shorten your lifespan. I know it isn'tas bad or nearly close as any other disease nor was I even told I had these, but I lost it. April 3rd - April 7th, 2017 was definitely my lowest point thus far on this journey for motherhood. I remember telling my husband I was exhausted for trying to be in a good mood and just wanted to lay in bed all day. For those who know me, this has never been my style. I can turn most negatives into positives, but I was done. I went from thinking there would be some kind of plan for how to maintain future pregnancies and instead felt like I was given a new disorder to worry about. Everyone has there limit and I had reached mine. Then this miraculous thing happened and after getting reassurance from a dear friend who worked at a doctor's office and a weekend filled with sunshine and rejuvenation, I felt better. I like to think the big guy upstairs had something to do with that. <3

Dr. Cooper is my Hero

So you must know that I have the most Type B doctor on the planet. Dr. Cooper has been my primary care physican since I was a child and we were destined. Dr. Cooper is the type B to my serious Type A. He doesn't worry about what isn't there. Don't get me wrong, when I was 22 and had some heart issues, that guy had me on a heart monitor and into a cardiologists in no time, but again- there was an issue and he took care of it. So when I walked into his office and explained what had happened with my blood test, he was perfect. Here is how that convo went:

So they ordered the wrong tests.


Did they end up ordering the right ones?

Yes, that is being taken care of.

And your comp tests were low or high?

Low. They ordered them again to be sure.

You look fine.

Thanks, I feel fine.

Okay, here is what we are going to do. We will order some tests to show you don't have anything and be good. **fist bump**

Wait, so my levels being low could just be nothing? Google said a whole lot of things.

Jessica, you are not a doctor and don't know all of the pieces to look for.

So basically he wasn't worried and I think I left skipping out of there.

Next Steps:

Now for the part I have been eagerly waiting for. The tests came back and I do not have an autoimmune disorder. I really hope some poor girl out there who accidentally got her comp 3 and 4 tests done and are low, reads this to know it can happen (although Dr. Cooper said he has never heard of them being ordered on accident) and you will be ok.

I also do not have a blood clot disorder. I know I was hoping for this before, since it seemed like an easy fix, but I've done a lot of research and think my true issue is my exercise and diet. I've read a lot that indicated low progesterone (a hormone) can cause PCOS symptoms (which I have) and early miscarriages (which I have had 2 now). Low progesterone can be from many things, but what stuck out to me was not enough fat and over exercising. Even though I had cut down the time of my runs, I was still running too much. We need 30 minutes of moderate exercise 5 days a week, which is not 40 minutes of intense running 6 days a week. We also need at least 50 grams of fat a day. I never paid attention to this before, but one day decided to add up my fat grams. I am rounding up and say I had 20. That is ridiculous. So basically my body is like, "Heck no we are not making a baby when you are a hot mess over here." Now I am not running and sticking to 30 minutes on the elliptical 5 days a week and eating way more fat. I have to say, food tastes awesome. I am also reading a book about Ancient Chinese Medicine which is a holistic approach and has been around for thousands of years. It involves meditating, balanced eating, yoga, and acupuncture. I now mediate every morning and do fertility yoga twice a week. The yoga was pretty entertaining when my husband came home from work and saw me on all fours looking a tad silly. I have already noticed a difference. My skin isn't dry. My nails seem stronger. I am also not as tired.

The new plan with the fertility specialist is to take progesterone supplements 3 days post ovulation and continue through pregnancy. I feel good about the new plan and even though it was the hardest and saddest point of my life thus far, I at least know we can get pregnant without expensive support. I literary pop pills and track my ovulation. We just need to keep those little ones baking for 9 months. I still know there will be a light at the end of this tunnel and know we will be parents. Just gotta keep swimming. I want to reassure that girl in that photo who just found out she was preggers for the 2nd time, that it will happen and she will feel that love/happiness for her little peanut.

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