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Jessica’s Journey: Part 14- The Waiting Game

April 25th, 2018

As I'm typing this, I can't believe that almost 5 months ago this amazing miracle was brought to us. What is even more astonishing is that in just over 6 weeks, we will get to hold our little peanut. Our process has definitely been unconventional, and we are forever grateful for that. Many are unfamiliar with what the process is going forward so I thought I'd shed some light on that for you all.

The Typical Adoption Path Vs Our Path

When a couple decides they want to adopt, their process will typically go as follows:

Think about it< Find an Agency<Fill Out Paperwork< Home Study< Approval< Match (This can take 2 years after approval)< Baby Comes< Legal Risk Period< Breath< Final Paperwork

Now here is our path:

Informed of this amazing opportunity< Think About it< Meet birth mom and match ourselves< Find Agency< Paperwork< Approval< Baby Comes< Legal Risk Period< Breath< Final Paperwork

We just found out we were approved today and as you can see are at a very different point than we would be on the typical path. We have already been matched, since we found one another first, and are now just waiting for our son to be born. We are so blessed because our birth mom is so kind to let us communicate with her and go to all of the appointments. The three of us are this trio of an entourage that walks through the halls of the OB office. We have definitely connected and their is undoubtedly a bond there that will always exist. After all, we will always have this miraculous human connecting us.

Baby Comes

Our little guy is due June 9th - I think he'll show his face sooner - and we have a plan in place for when he is born. It was important to us that the birth mom runs that show. This time is important for her and needs to go exactly as she is comfortable with. The plan is for her to call when he is ready to make his debut and then we'll pick her up to make our way to the hospital. Once there, she wants us both in the room with her. Once he is born, she would like him to go directly to us. From there we will either get our own room with him or be with him in the nursery. It will really depend on the hospital. Then we get to take him home. From there we get to breath a little, but not fully.

Legal Risk Period

Once we have our little guy home, we are considered temporary legal guardians. He will have her last name, but we will make all medical decisions and he will be with us. From there we wait 2-6ish weeks for her to go to terminate her rights. The speediness of this will depend on the court, but we have heard Ingham County is efficient. Once she does this, THEN we can breath. At this point he is officially ours. Think of this is as the same as when a couple gets married. They are married but technically the wife doesn't have the same last name. Then when we go to court a few months after that, his last name will be ours and we will have a new birth certificate.

Rollercoaster of Emotions

As you can see, the process is a terrifying one but so worth it. We are fortunate because our birth mother has allowed us to be a part of literally everything leading up to birth. We ride to appointments together, I love bringing her food she is craving at the time, and we talk multiple times a week. She has been nothing short of reassuring throughout the entire time and has put up with my incessant worrying and questions. I owe this girl my life.

So now we wait. I will blog again once everything is settled and we have our little one with us, indefinitely. Until then my friends; thank you all for your constant prayers and excitement in this new and blessed time in our lives. <3

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