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Dads Feel Pregnancy Loss Too

We sat there with our nerdy card game at our kitchen table. We each had a Guinness. I bent a piece of insulated wire into my best clover shape to make the design in the foam of our beer. We used our cups from our favorite Irish bar. Then she had to use the bathroom. But it took far too long. I remember every detail. I knew she was pregnant. She sat down like everything was fine. We had talked about this. She wanted to make the announcement to me a big deal. We were too excited. We couldn’t wait. I knew. I waited. She told me. She told me about the pregnancy that would eventually break us. Not us, us. We have never stopped being there for each other.

It was the pregnancy that broke pregnancy for us.

That day for us happened to be a holiday, 03/17/2018. But it doesn’t matter what day it is, or what smell it is, or what place it is. So many people experience loss and never, ever forget that feeling, or that place, or the sight of the ultrasound or the sight of the negative pregnancy test. Or the sound of a loved ones heartache. Or the words that couldn’t be found. Or the weight your whole body takes on.

If you struggled, or are struggling, your feelings matter. If you are or were pregnant, or if you were supporting that person, your feelings matter. Loss and infertility has nothing to do with with who you are, and everything to do with who you lost.

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